I am Grateful!

…….In no particular order except I will save the best ones for last!



                                                                                                                                                                   
Feel free if you want to click on the picture to make a bit
bigger and easier to see

* I am grateful I am in my 30’s, what a *ma-roon* I was in my 20’s!! I am grateful for facebook! Yes it sometimes sucks me into a vortex! But boy howdy have I got to cyber visit with some long lost friends and family. I facestalk everyone to see what they are doing and do so wish we were next door neighbors so I wouldn’t have to just see their lives in pictures.

I am grateful for my dogs, sounds silly huh? But you see I truly adore them, and unlike children you can have a favorite!!! Maggie is mine! I love her “chicken wing” when she lays beside me when I cook, clean or really do anything…she is always there!

I am grateful for eye cream. I am now quite aware of what that “crepe paper” look under your eye is. Goodness my face is no longer as young as it used to be, not quite sure how that happened!

I am grateful for time. I find I used to think it was just my enemy taking days away. But I am so grateful that time heals as well. I look back at things I have been through and amazed I came out alive and am so glad there is distance from where I was then to where I am today.

I am grateful for food! I love when I make delicious food and my hubby drools over it the whole time as it is cooking. I love when my kids get so excited when they see chocolate chips rising in the oven. I know some will say that it is old fashion or maybe even wrong to center things around food, but I say NAY to you! I enjoy showing my love through food! ;0) I am also a hugger and kisser and a say it out louder “I LOVE YOU!!” But as a gesture of love, I do enjoy making yummy food for those I care for! I have a good food memory with those I hold most dear…I love how thrilled my dad would be when I made him something special. Cookies, meatloaf you name it! I think his favorite was my pot roast; he would kiss my forehead and tell me how wonderful I was when I made him that! He would ooh and aah then practically drink the gravy! Straw please! I loved at our last Thanksgiving together, he came up behind me rubbed my shoulders you know like…. “Well done Champ” he said “It sure looks good,” as he smacked his lips and rubbed his belly, then he said "If you need me to taste anything you let me know!"…....actually he said it every year!! But as he did it the last time I tried to memorize his voice, his smile and the love delivered in the words he spoke.

I am grateful for my Dad. I really am! He was the most amazing man that this word will ever know! My life is so much better for having such a great example in my life, even if it was much too short. I miss him dearly!

I am grateful for my family. Now most of them drive me crazy and I wonder how in the world are we are related. Ha! But I love them! And I am sure they feel the same about me! I love that I am so much older than my sisters. I am one tough cookie so I can handle a lot! Even though it has been rough sometimes and I wish I could have been spared some of the heartache, I am glad they can learn from my journey along the way. They can work on making things even better for their lives.

I am grateful for my kids, they also drive me crazy! My teenage daughter….well all I can say is that I tried so hard when she was little to teach her to talk……come to find out…I should have re-thought that...darn it! I love that girl but man alive the attitude can knock you out! But I love her like crazy and the good outweighs the bad. I love that she has a heart for children with special needs and works with them with such patience. She doesn't worry about what other people think and doesn't need their approval. She does her own things and is comfortable with it. Then there is my Matthew, who looks like my dad so much! Goodness I mean really?!?! No doubting that kid is mine! He is always going a mile a minute and he wears me out to pure exhaustion! But I love his kindness and care for others. He always thinks of other and wants them to be taken care of. I think he will make a very good hubby someday!

I am grateful for my husband. When I met Eric he was mean, selfish and not very thoughtful. I could not even believe how I felt nudged by God that he was to be mine. I believe I actually fought it, kicking and screaming a good part of the way! There was no way this guy was to be my future husband… NO WAY!! I mean since I was a little girl my daddy told me I deserved the best and to be very picky! So when Eric (who is gonna kill me for this part of the post! HA!) showed up in my life he was not the Prince Charming or Knight in Shining Armor I had dreamed of. Where the heck was my Choir Boy? My Youth Pastor I thought I would marry? And who instead is this moody, grumpy, cussing like a sailor, punk in front of me?!?! BUT…here is the good stuff that makes up for my seemingly unkind words. He has turned out to be a really amazing husband and dad! He was a bit….*ehem*cough*ummm…rough around the edges when I met him. He will admit it all too and he really truly hates how he acted back then. Now there were moments that were bad yes, but it got us to HERE…. And here is good most days! I say most, because there are days I look at him and want to leap across the room and strangle him! And even though he says no, I am sure there are days he feels the same. I mean anyone who uses your nail clippers (ya know the expensive kind for cuticles) on zip ties and heaven only knows what else so when go to use them they are all bent and don’t line up…grrr or someone who uses your good towels…oh yes, white ones…on the car…yep the greasy, oily, dirty car…you can’t help but want to strangle someone who does that! But I am grateful for him. I am grateful that he works hard for our family. He tries to do better each time he makes a mistake. He hangs out with his kids and he even volunteers….*ehem*cough* voluntold….at the kid’s school! He loves them so much, he can’t even stand it! And he loves me, not just loves me but is still in love with me. Sometimes I will be standing there and he runs across the room grabs me and squeezes me, practically knocking me over! See God knew what He was doing. Eric is just my just right, my perfect for me and I love him! Even though he clearly owes me a new set of towels!

So be grateful, even when it is hard, even when you don’t want to. It goes by fast and you never know what the next day holds. I hope you have a Happy Turkey Day *Gobble till ya Wobble* and drink lots of gravy! Straw please!

xoxoxo

P.S.......In case you were wondering Eric did NOT kill me and approved this message ;)

FIVE months later...Really????

     And the worst Blogger Award goes to….me! Yeah……. I totally rot at doing this! I think to myself, “Oh yes, I will blog about this…and… that.” I will write such eloquent words that will leap off the page and into the hearts of family and friends who read my blog. I will say wise things that will leave the reader riveted and anticipating my next entry. But if I wait till I can blog like that...well, I would just need to delete this blog!


     I am going to write about Target. Yes, Target. See not very eloquent and chances of riveting are very low…I will be lucky if you come back to read anything else! But you see I love Target! I really do! Target has great clothes, great shoes, great comfy blankets, great snacks and drinks and well…. great everything! And I completely adore the dollar spot! LOVE IT!! The weird thing being as much as it thrills me to go, the mere mention of Target makes my hubby go into a huff and puff fit with a look of, ‘Please just hit me with a truck, it will be less painful!’ I couldn’t even write to you about Walmart and what he’d say, this is a family blog after all! Target is better in his book, but it does still make him cringe. And what he hates the most about Target is..... the dollar spot! I tell him how imperative it is and he scoffs! He then groans and complains that, the dollar spot just suckers you in to spend more money on “crap”! How can he say this of my beloved dollar spot? Because I’m not gonna lie, that dollar “crap” that they “suckered” me in to buy, well it makes my heart soar! More to the point as I mentioned it is imperative! Let’s see if you agree.

    The dollar spot is vital to my children’s academics. There I said it! Now you would think with this magnitude of importance my hubby and the father of these children would be more understanding! You see I just bought the cutest bucket for a dollar…now just picture it with me. Close your eyes…oh wait…can't read that way...okay keep them open, but envision with me…. a cute bucket.... It will then have a cute pad of paper adorned with Halloween colors around the edges, a cute pen, possibly with black, orange or purple polka-dots, and little black and orange wrapped peanut butter kisses so classic and yummy!! Ribbons tied around the handles and maybe even the sweetest little ghost “lollipop” sticking out to seal the deal. I can just see my kids presenting this to their teacher. The teacher is especially surprised since middle school and high school teachers no longer get such kind goodies. They smile in delight with a hearty "Thank You! They think “Wow, what a great kid! So thoughtful! What great parents they must have.”  They will this remember always. Like say when a situation comes up that involves my kid; a missing assignment perhaps, possibly another student tattling and using my kid as a scapegoat or who set the gym on fire…something of the like and they will pause and think, “Wait….NO.”As they picture that Halloween bucket of cuteness given by my darling child…they will say to them self, “It couldn’t be the Larvia kid. They are far too thoughtful and have amazing parents!” See people? See how this small bucket has changed our lives and the very lively hood of my children’s academic success! Eric doesn’t see that brilliance. And therefore does not appreciate what that little dollar bucket can do! He cannot see that it shouldn’t be called the dollar spot, but really the “priceless” spot! Clearly you are with me on this now, right? Okay good let’s go to Target!

P.S. My kids ate the cute Lollipop Ghosts we made! But I decided to use a monster pencil topper instead! Cute right?

So Proud!

                                      

Eric just made Officer!! I am certainly a proud wife. :) I suppose I always am, but this is a shining moment for sure. The pinning was so wonderful! We had family and friends from all over come to make the day even more special! We had a 40's themed ceremony. It was so much fun to get ready for it! Eric and I thought we were so stealth at Jo Ann's with our two 40% off coupons at different registers pretending we were strangers to get the discounts! We even enlisted the kids by handing them money and a coupon to do the same! What a sight...4 different registers with our super saving coupons! Once there was just one lane!!!! So Eric went first and bought something them I staggered myself a few folks behind. The lady at the counter said "I told your husband it is okay to use two different coupons in one transaction!" she smiled...oh man our cover was blown! It was also blown the time Matthew yelled "Hey Mom do I have enough money? Don't worry I will pretend I don't know you!" Well now everyone knows my dear son! I made the center pieces and made the table clothes, so we needed to save as much as we could! It all worked out in the end! It looked pretty sharp!! We bought Coca Cola Classic glass bottles to keep that vintage look going! Matthew wore a sailor suit and looked too cute! Emily and I dressed up in 40's glam and so did my sisters! My mom even joined in and so did one of my dearest friends Christine! I love that they had fun and knew how important it was to Eric and I, and showed their love and support in that way!!!! Not to mention we all looked super cute!! ;)

So now I am loving seeing Eric get saluted...oh yeah I totally recorded the first salute going through the gate on base!! I know it will wear off after awhile, but for now I make Eric wear his uniform and walk through a group just so I can see all the salutes! He thinks I am a hoot so he does it for me! He just knows I am super proud! He will get to his new squadron in a few weeks and has already met everyone there. He is really excited to start this new journey! And I think they sure are lucky to have him!

XOXOXO

GRRRRR!

I always try to be positive, but grrrrr!

Boy, I wish things were different.


I wish family was close. I do not mean by distance, like neighbors, but just close and they are not. I have recently decided to stop trying to get it that way. I finally realize it just may not be meant to be. I have prayed and tried my best and I just end up disappointed. So maybe even with prayers it just not the way it is. It is sad, but sadder to keep fighting it and not to just realize it and try to move on. So moving on it is. I have my wonderful husband and two kids who I adore even though half the time I would like to duct tape them to a chair! :) But past them, even though there is love because no matter what family is family, I can no longer worry about it, stress about it or feel like I have to try so hard. We are not a priority to them at all. It just plain hurts the more I try. I can no longer allow it to weigh me down. I worry way to much about what I say, how I say it, when I say it, what I do how it effects everyone else. And it really doesn't feel like I get that back! It is all...exhausting! So in a way I quit! ;)


I wish I had more real friends....you know people who only call when they need something, never to hang out....that is not a friend at all. It seems I have more of those then anything. What is funny is that I have noticed people in my life are so judgmental they can't see what they do, but have no trouble judging what I do! I sit and listen and I am not allowed to say a word. Yet if I have a problem there is no listening it is only how I should change it or deal with it. I just wanted an ear not a mouth!

Another example I had been asked to upload songs on an iPod which is in a way "stealing" from the artist but when I said we beileve in Santa I got a lecture on lying and how God says lying is wrong....they even told my son there was no Santa on Christmas Eve! And they were appauld at me? And even more judgement that I had to fib about something, nothing huge a little white lie as not to hurt someone’s feelings.....but I was judged ....ummmmmmmm what? They don't even really talk to us over that! Like I want to talk to them. If we are going to get technical what they did is bad too, worse in my book. I just want to scream you are no better then me sin is sin my frie...wait....my person who I know because friend you are no longer, and may I boldy say your loss! And even after that they called to have us babysit! Oh my! I am still neighborly, because that is what Jesus would stinkin' do. But they are no longer anyone I would count on or think of as a true  friend.

Now I am lucky to reconnect with "old" friends who are on facebook. Some I never lost touch with, but some I did but never stop thinking about them. And it is amazing to reconnect! And I even get to see some extended family and what they are doing in life. It's good to have that fun support online and see where everyone is at!


I wish my kids could do things on their own and still not need so much done at their age! I didn't need this much help at either of their ages, either did Eric. I have tried everything, trust me. I will just keep praying and just try to survive this season of being a mom.


I wish my carpet wasn't the cheapest the Lincoln Housing could find, not to mention cheap counters, toilets, linoleum, ummmm everything! Plus love the chain link fence nothing says time to relax like staring into your neighbor’s yard and their house if a window happens to be open! Love the privacy we earned!


I especially wish my daughter could run, jump, dance, stand up and get her own drink of water. Yeah feeling sorry for myself today as a mom who can't fix it. We deal with it and handle it most days. But there are those days it hurts, please get this cement truck off my chest I can barley breathe it hurts so much days...today is one of those days. She has been more vocal about her struggles so it is heavy on my heart.


I really wish my Daddy was here. We'd talk about politics. We'd listen to Ray LaMontagne and say how he is a throwback to "when songs were good" We'd watch The Bill Engval Show and say it is so nice to have a good family show on. He would adore my kids be proud of my husband. He'd make sure everyone was doing right by each other. He would be just be here. I miss him and somethings would not be the way they are if he was here.


So there are a few things I "wish" yet I can change a one of them. So that kinda stinks. I will now just go (just for awhile) and feel sorry for myself, not too long... the Serenity Prayer comes to mind......


So grrrrr! And next blog I will be my usual delightful self!!! ;)
xoxoxoxo

The New Year

So there I am sitting there watching Tom and Jerry with Matthew enjoying our time alone. Emily went back to school my alone time with her will be the month she gets off earlier then Matthew when school ends. Since they are 10 and 13 and I swear last week they were 2 and 5... I cherish every second! So there I am watching Tom getting chased by Spike as Jerry sits and laughs, Matthew is laughing as well. Just me and my little guy who is not so little anymore and he then decides we will now play Playstation. Matthew is pretty good at the games and where I really shine is when I play...Atari...yep Atari.....I rocked at Pit Fall Harry! So I smile and say Matthew you know I am not very good...he says "Oh mom it is easy!" So he puts in Star Wars something or other and begins to tell me about the controller, left arrow is for crouching, right arrow is for jumping and that is probably wrong....the X button is for something I can't recall and then there is the O button it does something too and then there is the triangle button it turns me into a goat...I have no idea! So I do my best I am shooting at the bad guys and following arrows I think I am doing great I have only died 5,6...20 times. Outside I hear a noise and my sweet son says to me...Oh dad is home maybe we should give him a turn....I said Honey he will need a few minutes to settle and......I am stopped he says that is okay I will wait....because Dad does a good job when he plays....he stops and smiles runs over and kisses me and says....but I still love you! Too cute! So I challenged him if we find an Atari and Pit Fall Harry I am so gonna rock it!!
xoxo